Onyx's Ofrenda 2019

Last year Día de los Muertos was just a couple of months after Onyx had died. It's a cultural practice that I grew up with and while my family didn't celebrate Day of the Dead very religiously, I saw it as a way I could continue to honor Onyx. 

Now, having Lazuli, I want to be more intentional about the ways we honor Onyx. Including Onyx in things like Day of the Dead isn't just for me to keep Onyx's memory alive, it's also a way for Lazuli to be able to have her brother "around". And while it makes me sad that putting together an ofrenda for Onyx is a tradition Lazuli will grow up with, I'm also weirdly okay about it. I don't want death and grief to be a taboo subject for Lazuli. I want her to ask questions. I want her to know that it's okay to cry, to be angry, to be confused. And I want Lazuli to know that just because Onyx died doesn't mean we have to stop celebrating him. 

Día de los Muertos is a great way for us to teach her about our cultural history AND to honor her brother, so I'm excited about it. While putting together Onyx's 2019 ofrenda, I decided to include other babies as well!


I made this candle at a local Bereaved Mother's Day event earlier this year. We've lit it on special occasions like Onyx's birthday and during the Wave of Light.

I added an "About This Ofrenda" so folks would know who the altar was for an what it represented. 

Most of the things I put on Onyx's ofrenda were from last year but I added some new items like the sugar skulls, which were decorated with pink and blue in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. 

My sister Bella and I cut out all of the flower shapes, glued on the photos and painted little designs on the flowers.  

All of the children's names were included along with additional info provided by their families.  

The white crochet blankets were made by Project Robby in memory of the two babies I miscarried.

Ofrendas include your loved ones favorite foods so I included some baby food for all the babies. 
I bought these books when I was pregnant with Onyx - I was so excited to raise him to be bilingual. They're now a part of Lazuli's library.

Baby bottle, pacifier and toys for the babies.

The "Still Here" pin is from Alishia Anderson, another loss mama. 

I associate Onyx with lambs so there's a little yellow lamb included on his altar.


I'll be sharing some reflections about this year's ofrenda (and better quality of the baby's photos) in an upcoming video on my Youtube channel, so stay tuned for that if you're interested! 


  1. This is beautiful. What a wonderful way to honor Onyx and create community. <3