One Year Later

August 30th, 2019 marks a year since Onyx was born. It also marks a year since Onyx passed away. Never did I imagine myself saying both hello and goodbye to my baby on the same day. I also never imagined I'd somehow survive a year without him, yet here I am 365 days later.

Holding Onyx's hat and diaper - 4th Trimester Bodies Project, September 2018 

I miss him so much. There's not a moment that goes by that I don't think about him. I'll never truly "get used to" the ache, but I've been forced to adapt and realize it's part of my new normal. 

The last time I held Onyx in my arms, I told him "I love you and I'm sorry". Those words ring true just as much today as they did when I said them a year ago.

12 mini bundt cakes, one for each month 

I have no idea what year two holds, but I know that just as I will always grieve Onyx, I will always celebrate and honor him. 

Happy birthday. You're still our rainbow.