"What If My Baby Doesn't Have a Name?" | Baby Loss Name Ideas

When I started the Friends of Onyx project I received questions from parents who wanted to include their baby but had no idea what name to use. A lot of the messages said things like "I had a chemical pregnancy so it was super early" or "we didn't know the sex". I could sense so much pain in those messages from families who weren't able to name their babies.

And yesterday, when I published my "How We Chose a Name After Baby Loss" post, I was reminded that not everyone was able to name their baby. So I want to dedicate a post to those who are struggling with names for their little ones.

Baby (month they passed away)

We didn't name the babies from my first two miscarriages but I've recently been referring to them as Baby September and Baby November after the months that I lost them.

Baby (last name)

This is a simple but special choice because it includes your family name. When Onyx didn't have a name the nurses referred to him as "Baby Boy Mendoza".

Baby (food or object similar in size to when they passed away)

Pregnancy apps love to compare babies to the sizes of food and different types of objects. Some cute ideas are Baby Sprinkle (4 weeks), Baby Poppy (4 weeks) and Jellybean (8 weeks). Google "size of a baby chart" and you'll find tons of examples.

Baby (color you associate with your baby)

Two colors that I associate with Onyx are baby blue and pastel yellow (they were the colors of the hat, diaper, and blankets that the nurses put him in after he was born). If there's a specific color that you love or one that you associate with your baby, consider using it.

Baby (an object you associate your baby with)

I have a friend whose baby was due on Halloween so she calls her baby "Pumpkin". Another friend calls their baby "Bear" because the first thing she bought when she found out she was pregnant with a stuffed bear toy. I associate Onyx with lambs because we got a little stuffed lamb in our bereavement box.

Baby (initial)

A lot of people choose a simple initial for their baby. If you have living children and their names follow a specific theme, you might choose to go with the same letter. Or maybe you were expecting multiples but one of the babies didn't survive - doctors refer to multiples by letter (ex: Twin A, Twin B) so you could do that as well for your little one.

Baby (number that is significant)

Naming a baby after a number may sound weird but a lot of people have numbers as names. Maybe you lost your second child so you name them "Dos" (Spanish for the number 2). Maybe your baby was born on the third day of a month so you name them "Tripp" (a nickname for someone who is the third). Maybe you binge-watched Stranger Things when you were pregnant so you might choose the name Eleven. You could even name your baby after the week of which you lost them.

Baby (flower)

Did you know that every month has a specific flower associated with it? You could name your baby after the flower for the month that you lost them or the month that they were due. "Iris" and "Sweet Pea" are some examples but you can find more HERE.

If you can't find a name that "fits", that's okay. Take your time. It's okay if it takes years for you to name your baby and it's okay if you don't ever find the perfect name. Your baby still matters.

Be gentle with yourself,