(FINALLY) Launching a Youtube Channel!

I want to share a secret: I had planned on making a Youtube channel when I was pregnant with Onyx. It may sound odd to some, but I really wanted to make weekly updates on my pregnancy and I wanted to film his life after birth. Unfortunately, I developed a horrible condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum when I was pregnant. Hyperemesis caused me to basically just stay in bed all day every day for most of my pregnancy and I'm not even exaggerating - I was vomiting 24/7 for almost 5 months (I'll share that story soon). Just when I had started to feel a little better, I went into labor and Onyx was born. Needless to say, I never got around to making those videos.

Just before Onyx's one month anniversary I decided to start this blog. It's been an amazing outlet for me to document my journey, spread awareness and build community with other baby loss families.
And while I don't plan to stop writing any time soon, I've been thinking about also documenting my journey on Youtube for a while now.

I'm really open and honest on here, of course, but there's something to be said about actually WATCHING someone go through their grief and healing journey. I sometimes feel like my life after loss comes off as "easy" or like I'm handling it "really well". While I'm definitely grieving Onyx differently than even I imagined, I can't even begin to tell you how many things have gone wrong since Onyx was born. And you add grief on top of that? Life has been rough to say the least.

I share Onyx's story and some of what goes on in my head here on this blog and on social media sites like Instagram and Facebook, but it's only a small look into what my life after loss is really like. So I've decided to launch a Youtube channel to document more of my day-to-day life after loss (not daily vlogs, just more of the day-to-day experiences and emotions I may have).

I will still be posting at least once a week on here, but I'm also planning to post at least once a week on Youtube. The posts may be connected or they may be completely different, it really just depends what platform fits better for the story I want to share.

I hope you join me as I enter a new journey of documenting my life after Onyx. And I hope you continue to stay here too!

Check out my INTRO VIDEO and if you subscribe to my channel, be sure to comment that you're from the Rainbow blog fam!


  1. I've been following you for a while and I would 100% support your YouTube channel. I've seen through your words and pictures how much you love Onyx and I can't wait to see your healing process. Although I've never been through what you have with Onyx, it is something that is close to my heart. I can't wait to see more of you!